Creep, asshole.

God. How long has it been? All I know is that it’s been too long. Anyway, HOW YOU’VE BEEN. Oh, I've been pretty good. Anyway, I was just sort of cleaning my room and I came upon some of your stuff. It was nice for a giggle or two. Hey, I was just thinking, remember all that stuff we said about us remaining the best of friends when we broke up? Well, I suddenly realized, we lied.